Why Being Overly Humble Can Lead to Painful Social Self Defeatism
It's important to be humble. There is such a thing as being too modest. A humbleness that prevents you from getting the credit you deserve.
Being humble is one of the pillars of stoicism. A way of life I try to reproduce every day, even if I am not always successful.
There is always value in being humble over arrogant. And whenever the opposite is true, we end up experiencing a type of willful ignorance. Willful ignorance often leads to a world of toxic intolerant thinking.
One can be too humble. Too humble to hurt one's opportunity to succeed and shine. A humbleness that prevents one from getting the credit one deserves.
Receiving Gratitude
I have always tried to be as humble as possible. For reasons unknown, this has caused me to feel guilty whenever someone praises me. My inability to receive an award with gratitude has created many awkward situations.
I have a mixture of awkward humbleness and excessive Catholic guilt. Most Catholics know what I mean. The Catholic church raises its followers to believe we are guilty or full of sin. The sin is permanent until absolved and completed the appropriate penance.
It's easy to confuse the two when growing up under this mentality.
Giving Others Credit
I ALLOWED OTHERS TO TAKE CREDIT when I should have spoken for myself on some past projects at work. They monopolized the credit to gain promotions and find better opportunities elsewhere. I was getting passed on because I wanted my career to speak for itself. But I wasn't interested in getting showered with praise.
Sometimes, we can hurt ourselves more than others with the best intentions.
Not Speaking Up
When I realized I was hurting myself by not speaking up. When I needed to help ensure I would get recognition, I realized I had to change my strategy.
My need to be humble has hurt my resume. Often, resume gurus tell bragging about one's accomplishments.
But to this day, I struggle to find a happy medium between being humble and showing pride.
Much of this involves ego—good and evil and being present.
Presence in mind. Being in the moment and not leaning too much on the past or the future. Its part of the "the struggle is real," so to speak.
Humility
Humility is one of the critical pillars of stoicism. Humility comes not right away but later after learning its value through experience. The kind of experiences that can make us realize our flaws. After all, everyone will soon be forgotten. As soon as the last person dies who remembers you after you have long gone, you are forgotten.
The purpose is to allow ourselves to stay grounded. And that is the advantage of humility. To recognize one's shortcomings and realize none of us are perfect.
At the same time, do not shy when necessary if it will help you move. As one said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."
The conclusion to my rambling is finding a balance between being humble and having an ego. Find your balance between letting go of your ego and knowing when to speak for yourself. Fight to get the credit you deserve to succeed.
Others might be better at figuring this out than I am. I await correction and to learn from them to increase my understanding.