Unsubscribe me from Your Newsletter

Nowadays I hesitate when I open any website or app which asks me to sign-up with my email. It seems the only way to sign-up for anything these days is via Facebook, Twitter, Google, or your email.

Not wanting to share my Facebook profile with every potential marketer—I often choose to sign-up via my email. The email sign-up option seems the lesser of the evils. Without fail, the same thing always happens: I will get a notification of a new email in my inbox. Then, I will open my email to find a newsletter  from something I recently registered.

Eventbrite and Dailymotion

I recently purchased some tickets to an event I was going to see via Eventbrite. I have had an Eventbrite account for about two years. It has proven to be as handy as Evite.  Which my wife and I used as a cheap and more efficient way to send out our wedding invitations instead of using the traditional snail mail method.

And then this morning Eventbrite sent me a newsletter about their “Top Picks” for me. How do they know what my top picks are? Looking at my past events I seem privy to attending events where food is involved. Hmm, I am not ashamed of that. I never asked for this newsletter. And why suddenly after two years are they sending me an email now? I opened their email and didn’t read anything. Instead, I scrolled down all the way to the bottom, where they often hide the unsubscribe options in fine print. MailChimp confirmed that they unsubscribed me. And then offered the same choice of five questions for why I was unsubscribing.

Guess which one I always pick?

“I never subscribed to this email.”

I received another one recently from Dailymotion.com who was recently hacked. I was not using Dailymotion.com for anything. I don’t even remember signing-up. Instead of updating my password I went ahead and deleted my account. Deleting an account is grounds for an email newsletter in the hackable world of Dailymotion.com. The text at the bottom of their unwanted newsletter email which reads ‘unsubscribe’ was an empty promise. The link did not work. Into the SPAM folder, they go!

Obsessively Clicking Delete

Because I am consistent and methodical I obsessively delete unwanted emails. I do this on a daily basis. It is the only way to keep my mailbox clean. Same as receiving unsolicited mail. Where I end having to shred these unwanted letters. And then take them out to recycling. Companies like wasting paper sending me their shit. It is the most useless and wasteful form of marketing still in existence today.

I often wonder how many minutes I have waisted in my life shredding the paper of mail I never wanted. Shredding paper of mail I and never asked to receive. Or opening an e-newsletter, I never sign-up for and clicking unsubscribe. Add up all those lost minutes, and I would be able to get a week of lost time, at this point. Am I overestimating? No idea. Since I have no actual numbers to back up my claim, regardless, I need to vent.

This senseless act of host of hostility by telemarketers, or web-marketers, needs to come to a conclusive end. No more I say. Unsubscribe me from your newsletter, good sir!

How to Get Your App Deleted from my Phone

If your app signs me up for a newsletter which I never asked for I will unsubscribe from your newsletter and more often than not delete your app from my smart phone.

Sometimes an app, which I downloaded at one time and had to sign-up to use, and have since deleted will send me an email about a new and exciting update. Again, I never asked for this. Congrats on updating your app with a new feature. But your app is no longer on my phone, and it is not coming back. The fact that the app has sent me an unsolicited newsletter about it supports my previous conclusion. Your app is not worth revisiting. The end.

Find other ways to market. I am an avid reader of tech news. I prefer discovering updates about apps that way. Especially when one of the better tech reporters gives a detailed walkthrough and review of an app or any new gadget. Color me curious. 

I like to be informed. I do not want you throwing your advertisements in my face. That is now how the majority of us prefer consuming information.  Copy write, much?

I know others may disagree but this how I see it. My passion for this knows no end. Before you send me your next newsletter, know that I am already going to scroll down, not read a damn thing, and click unsubscribe.