How I Hopelessly Lost my Words and How I Insanely Won them Back
I am someone who struggles with writing. Though I am unique, there are many like me. And most of us give up, and most of us keep going.
They call it writer's block. I call it perpetual self-doubt.
Writer's block has a better ring to it, doesn't it?
The Struggle is Real
If you don't already know, I am someone who struggles with writing. Though I am unique, there are many like me. And most of us give up, and most of us keep going.
Early Success to Constant Self-Doubt
The crazy thing is that I have succeeded in some of my early goals as a writer: I co-wrote a full-length screenplay and pitched it in Hollywood. I wrote a One-Act play in college. I was fortunate to see actors perform it. I've written and self-published a novel--hell! I was once a top writer on Medium.com.
And yet here I am today. Trying to claw my way out of this hole I call self-doubt and back where I belong. Sitting at my desk and filling a blank screen with words based on what I am thinking at this very moment.
Change Happened
I cannot tell you what changed. How did I go from not writing at all to every day? It happened.
One day I sat down, and instead of letting myself be distracted or letting the negative thoughts invade my focus, I wrote.
I knew one day it would happen, but for some reason, whenever I tried to force it to happen, it didn't. I had to wait for it to happen.
One day I read a blog post I had written almost a year ago but never published. I decided to re-write it after, and only after I had completed reviewing and re-writing did ready to try another.
I have a list of topics to write about. I looked for one I thought was easiest for me since it was based on my experiences and opinions and gave it a go.
Before you knew it, I had written it and was looking for the next piece to write.
The Writing Muscle
Writing is a muscle. We must exercise that muscle every day.
Each day since I started writing again, I am getting stronger. I am getting more disciplined. More motivated.
Do I fear it will go away again? Of course, I do! I have silenced that doubtful thought and moved it to the back of my mind.
Now that the words have returned, I will persevere. I will keep writing for better or for worse. Not because I want to but because I need to write. I need to express myself in words better than I can when I speak them.
Won't you join me on this journey? Pick up a pen or get your hands at the ready above your keyboard and let's get this shit done.