Advice I Wish I Had When I turned Thirty
The older one gets, the short the days seem, and the more monotonous life can become. When I turned thirty, I remembered craving monotony. I remember feeling tired of living in constant uncertainty.
The older one gets, the short the days seem, and the more monotonous life can become. When I turned thirty, I remembered craving monotony. I remember feeling tired of living in constant uncertainty.
As a productivity guru and someone who strives to create as much content as possible, I have always craved a planned monotony. Wherein life happens how I wish and not how it happens on its own.
The problem with planning everything is that one can sometimes get lost. Thereby avoiding doing the actual thing. One is making plans.
I do not claim to be an expert by any means. But there are some things I wished I had known when I was thirty:
Save
It's essential to save.
We often get obsessed with saving for life after the one we are in the middle building once we reach thirty. That is a fallacy of a previous generation. We shouldn't sacrifice everything to one day enjoy things when we're old and incapable of enjoying them. Life is also short. You never know if something unexpected will happen to you or someone else.
So, other than saving for your retirement and saving to have an emergency fund. After those budgets are figured out and set, then look at things to keep which are more immediate:
Going on a vacation
Getting something nice for yourself
Learning or trying something new
Life is not about what will happen next but what will happen now. And you are always in the now. So, take your time thinking of the future. You'll end up enjoying the present less.
Vacation
I cannot stress how many potential vacations I gave up because I couldn't afford them or didn't have anything planned to do. Even if you end up taking a homestay vacation, take your break. You must always give yourself time off from work, no matter what.
It would be nice if everyone went to Europe or Mexico and experienced something once in a lifetime. It will happen if you plan for it and save for it. But always make sure you are taking time for yourself.
Work balance is so important. You are not what you do for a living. You are so much more than that.
Don't let work take over your identity.
Spend on a Vacation
One rule of advice on spending on vacation. I'm not telling you to go ahead and get into debt. But it's pointless to stress the costs of things while on vacation. It's okay from time to time if you plan to be able to pay things off. Make adjustments to ensure you are still working toward other financial goals.
When you are on vacation, don't worry about how much something is. Trust me: you will always forget the cost but never forget the experience. You might decide not to do something or not get something or not try something because you are worried about spending the money. You will end up regretting it nine times out of ten.
Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You
I wasted so much of my thirties worrying about what other people thought of me in various scenarios. Had I let go of that anxious thought, I would have been more comfortable being myself and not holding back on things I could've done.
This is more than something some of us (including me) can turn off. But some methods must work to help those like us find a way to unlearn this unhealthy habit.
One of my favorite ways to do this comes from CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Rational vs. Irrational Thoughts. Every day (morning or evening or both), write a two-column list with one titled "rational" and the other titled "irrational."
In the "irrational" column, write down any negative or anxious thoughts that might actually be irrational.
Then in the rational column, write something to counter that irrational thought, usually in cheerful and reaffirming language. After doing this for a few days, you will immediately start recognizing the recurring thoughts that are helping create unwanted anxiety.
Try it out. Remember, this won't fix anything overnight. It takes work, patience, and persistence. And one day, you might have fewer thoughts invading your conscience.
Be Patient with Yourself
When you turn thirty, you might not be where you thought you would be. Plans often never happen how we design them.
You might also realize that you don't like your work or that something needs to change.
It's essential to recognize these moments and not be hard on yourself. Some know what they want to do for the rest of their lives and do it. And there are those of us who don't.
Some change what we do in our lives. We don't have to do one thing. We are not one category, which is our conclusion for the rest of our lives. We can change who and what we are.
Turning thirty is only a number. But it's also not an end or a beginning. It's only another chapter in our lives. Society pressures us to have things figured out by thirty. But that's something we should know or be pressured to know. You have the rest of your life to figure things out.